Looking back at our baby bat years, we often think of who our former selves were, and how we acted. I'm sure that we all have some funny stories about either a fashion mistake, among other things (I know I have a few). Part of being a baby bat, means that you're just getting into the goth scene, and eventually, you'll evolve, but for right now, you're going to make tons of mistakes. However, there are just some mistakes we make as baby bats that we wish we could avoid, instead of climbing up from the deep pitfalls. I know that I made quite a few of these, and I wish I could kick my baby bat self in the bum. I hope that this post could help any baby bat, as well as help anyone interested into the subculture.
Things baby bats should avoid:
1. Only buy clothing from 'alternative' stores
We all go through this as baby bats. We go to the mall, go to a nice, little Hot Topic store, and buy these awesomely 'unique' clothes/accessories. Now, I do like to shop at Hot Topic every now and then (especially when they have sales on their accessories), and same thing with other alternative stores. Dysfunctional doll has some great picks for accessories, as does Good Goth, but only limiting yourself to these stores can make your fashion seem bland (oddly enough), and well, like you bought a 'goth starter kit'. Strangely, sometimes K Mart, or even Wal-Mart, has some interesting pieces that any goth would love to snatch up. Not to mention that thrift stores are wonderful places to pick up something you can alter, or wear as is.
What I'm trying to say is that part of evolving your style, means that you might have to look in the strangest of places, in order to find clothing that just shouts out you. Even if the store is rather mainstream, and not appealing to your otherworldly style, gritting your teeth and lurking around, might just pay off. Remember to give every store a fair chance. You'll never know what you'll end up finding.
2. Everything Black
When you think of goth, you think of a person wearing all black, with hardly any color at all. That's well and good, and black is a very nice shade, and there are quite a few outfits that I have that are all black. However, goths don't stick with wearing just black, and colors are incorporated to their style, opening up more doors to express their fashion. I know it seems a little taboo to the budding baby bat, wearing color with their dark attire, but it is normal for goths to wear colors, no matter what the stereotypes say. So, don't think it's not goth to wear colors, because it will limit your creativity to piece together some awesomely whimsical outfits. As for continuing to wear all black, sure, you can still do it. It's all about wearing what you like to express yourself.
3. Collars and overloading on accessories
Besides wearing all black, most people picture a goth with a leather collar around their necks. Now, with the right outfit, leather collars can look pretty cool. However, one pitfall that baby bats fall in, is wearing them all the time, with everything. Lets face it, collars don't go with everything, no matter how 'alternative' it looks. The same thing as wearing leather, and/or multiple bracelets. It doesn't work all the time, and there are times when wearing neither is appropriate. There is a thing such as too much accessorizing, and when you over do it, it can make a great outfit, look gaudy, and like you're trying too hard. So, knowing when to wear these items are very helpful for not only baby bats, but for any goth.
4. Too much makeup
Another pitfall with looking the part, is makeup. You can make so many mistakes with makeup, and even some of the most skilled goths, can have a little trouble with it every now and then. One of the issues that we have to look out for with makeup, is wearing too much of it. Too much white powder can make us ghost white, instead of pale, and too much black eyeliner can make us look like a raccoon. Knowing the right amount of makeup to use, and learning how to put in correctly, can save you a lot of trouble. It pays off to know this, so you can look frightfully wonderful, instead of just frightful.
5. Goth clothes and creativity
Something that took me a while to realize, is that DIY can make clothes more unique than any alternative store. I recently gotten into crafts, and made quite a few accessories, and alterations to pieces that just came out awesomely. It pays off to know how to sew, use bleach correctly, and the like. Surfing the net to get inspiration to the limitless things you can make, means a lot more to the subculture, than just buying 'the goth starter kit'. It means that you took the time to make something, or tweak it, putting the effort to mold your own style. Like mentioned before, goths take a lot of time to piece together the perfect outfit, in order to express themselves. Some time researching projects can certainly pay off, and you can let your creative juices flow.
6. Drawing inspiration
One thing that is recommended when you begin this journey, is to look for, and draw inspiration from others. Try looking up famous gothic icons, and see what you like about them, and their style. Who knows, maybe you'll look at your favorite goth character, and form a whole new style, being inspired by them. You don't have to limit yourself to just goth icons though. Actually there are some non goths you can use for inspiration, and the same goes for mainstream styles. Anything can be used to inspire a whole new outfit, or how you wear your makeup/hair. The point is to do research, and form something new out of your creativity.
7. Knowing when goth is acceptable
It would be nice for goth to be loved wherever you go, and in every situation. Sadly, it's not. When a goth goes to work, they have to learn to dress down, and conform to the dress code. Fishnets, corsets, and platform boots, have no place during an interview, or a job. It would be nice for a goth to wear what they want, while working, but most bosses frown on that, and won't hire someone who has tattoos, or piercings. I know I sound like someone's mother, or grandmother, but what I say is true. This is a lesson learned at some point in a baby bats life, and many goths still struggle with this. If a goth ever wants a job (this includes you, baby bats!), we have to learn how to dress down for jobs, and other events, and when to dress up for the club, or a nice day out.
8. More goth than thou
No one likes an elitist. People who tell everyone how goth they are, and that no one else will be as goth as they are, are just plain annoying, and we roll our eyes at them. These types of people often ruin the subculture for a lot of us. Now, on the other foot, baby bats who pull this, aren't taken seriously within the goth community, which makes us yet again, roll our eyes. Anyone who makes a giant point to tell everyone how goth they are, are most likely A) Trying too hard to be goth, and has doubts in if they are or not, or B) Are just that type of person who wants to make other goths feel bad, and make themselves feel superior. Either way, it's not a good thing to be this person, so don't do it.
9. Stereotypes
Another thing that I hoped that I realized long before my baby bat days were over, was sticking to the well known goth stereotypes. Like any other person, I thought that you had to fit into a certain image, in order to be goth. It sounds like a foolish thing to believe, but you'll be surprised by how many baby bats fall into this. Actually, when someone is goth, and acts mopey and depressed, people think of the South Park goth kids. I'm not kidding, when people think of goth, that's what they think of. Please know that you don't have to be depressed to be a goth, nor do you have to be unfriendly to people, or any of the laughable stereotypes that has been stapled onto the subculture over the years. What I'm going with this is, be yourself, and don't feel like you need to be any of the stereotypes, in order to be accepted within the subculture. People respect you more for doing so, as well as older goths.
10. Dealing with non goths
There are a lot of ways to deal with a non goth, being uncomfortable about your gothyness. The best way is to be nice and talkative, instead of falling into to the goth stereotype 'all goths are anti-social/cranky'. People will say mean things about your clothing, it comes with the territory. However, it doesn't mean that we should be aggressive back, and make fun of non goths. Don't take the insults seriously, and move on with your day. If someone asks about your outfit, answer them truthfully. Some people generally want to know about what you're wearing, so why bite their heads off? I can understand that some of us get suspicious when people pretend to want to know what we're wearing, or ask questions about goth, just to mock us. Still, don't let it bother you. The point is to educate people on goth, and diminishing the stereotypes, in a positive manor (no matter how mean some people are).
There may be times where you are physically threatened by non goths. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it can be scary. There are way too many violent stories about people hurting goths, just because of what they're wearing, and in some cases, the goth ends up dead (I think the lot of you are aware of Sophie Lancaster). If you are in this situation, I urge you to fight back, run away, do what you have to do to get out of it. Physical violence is not an excuse, for people wearing clothing that they want to.
Sometimes goths forget that baby bats are our future, and can be just as rude. Remember to don't let it bother you, some goths forget that everyone was a baby bat once, and should be in a teachable mode, rather than criticize baby bats. If goths politely gave baby bats advice, rather than ranting about it, I'm sure that both groups could have a better coexistence with eachother. So, goths have to learn to be nice baby bats as well, and try to help them out once in a while.
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